I started my new chemo sessions yesterday. The drugs have changed for this round, so perhaps this should be 1A as opposed to 5. The drugs being used this time are Velcade and Decadron. The chemo sessions will be more intensive this time around. Before the drugs were administered once every 28 days. These drugs will be administered in a 21 day cycle, with me receiving the drugs on days 1,4,8,and 11, followed by a ten day break. This constitutes the 21 day cycle. It’s only been one day, so no ill effects yet. The major side affect listed is fatigue, so I think I can live with that. Velcade, from all accounts is quite effective and is a good set-up for the autologous stem cell transplant. The current plan is to complete 3 cycles. If I counted correctly the third cycle should end on July 3. I don’t know how long after that the transplant team will want to wait. Not long I hope. I am becoming more resigned to following this path, I really just want to get on with the transplant and hopefully full remission. I just keep praying, placing my hope and trust in God who is always good. I am certain that all of this is happening for a reason, for some purpose that I just don’t know yet. If my situation helps someone else, or leads me to a better understanding of trust in God, or both, than it is all worth it. Someone asked me if I felt like Job, with all of the medical concerns I’ve developed over the past few years. I thought and decided that, no, I felt sort of like Paul in his statement in Philippians 1:22-25.
If I go on living in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. And I do not know which I shall choose. I am caught between the two. I long to depart this life and be with Christ, (for) that is far better. Yet that I remain (in) the flesh is more necessary for your benefit. And this I know with confidence, that I shall remain and continue in the service of all of you for your progress and joy in the faith,
I don’t really want to leave the body just yet, there is still so much I want to accomplish. Yet being with Christ ain’t a bad thing either. I figure that no matter what happens, I’m a winner either way.
Wednesday in the 7th Week of Easter
May 7, 2008