The End of the Beginning

One year ago this month, in Oct. of 2007, I noticed a growth at the end of my sternum, right in the middle of my chest. At first it was small, so I thought I could simply wait until my next physical to have it checked out. Probably just a cyst, right? Before the month ended this anomalous spot grew exponentially, reaching the size of a baseball. Obviously this could not wait, so I went to the doctor and thus began a series of tests that eventually led to a diagnosis. On Dec. 7 of 2007 I went to my doctor and she finally told me that the growth was indeed cancer. She sent me to an oncologist who diagnosed this cancer as Multiple Myeloma, a cancer of the plasma cells in the blood. I was told that this disease is incurable, but treatable. The course of treatment prescribed was an autologous stem cell transplant, a procedure that would use stem cells from my own blood to replace my immune system after course of chemotherapy destroyed the cancer cells and everything else as well. This treatment required travel, so my wife and I chose to have this done in Chicago, at the University Of Chicago Medical Center, which specializes in treating Multiple Myeloma. After several rounds of chemotherapy here in Louisville, and after a few setbacks, the transplant finally occurred on Aug. 25 this year. I spent three weeks in the hospital, sometimes quite sick, but most often not feeling too bad. After being released from the hospital we spent two more weeks in Chicago until we were released to return to Louisville, where final follow up tests have been conducted. The last blood test in Chicago showed no signs of the proteins produced when the cancer is present. Tests done here in Louisville have produced the same result. One of the tests done just this past Tuesday was another bone marrow biopsy. The last one, done before the transplant, showed no sign of the cancer in my bone marrow. My oncologist said that barring any strange result in this last test, it is fair to say that this cancer is in remission. I firmly believe that God led me to the right doctors, the right hospital, and the right treatment. I am thankful to our gracious God for this outcome, but I also know that remission does not mean cured. There is no cure. But there was, and is, treatment and hope. I know this journey is not over, that this is in reality the beginning of a new journey, a new life, a life for which I am grateful. I understand how great a gift this is. May God continue to guide me as I use this great gift, and may I be smart enough to listen.
Deacon John
Oct 17, 2008
St. Peregrine. Pray for us

Home at Last

We finally got to come home to Louisville last Wednesday, Sept. 24. I probably should have written sooner, but I have spent the past week just basking in the joy of being home. There are more tests to be done here in Louisville, but the last blood tests done in Chicago were quite encouraging. If all the other tests are as encouraging, then it may be that the transplant has worked and the cancer is in remission. I understand that although this has been a long journey, it is not yet complete. I do believe that God has been guiding me on this journey, leading me to the best place for treatment. I do understand that although remission may have been achieved, the threat of this cancer has not gone away. I will live with this threat for the rest of my life. I can live with this because I know that God is with me on this journey and in this struggle. My trust is and must always be in God. Only then can I make this journey, without (much) fear. Thank you for your prayers, they have been felt.
Deacon John
Feast of St. Theresa of the Child Jesus, Doctor of the Church
Oct. 1, 2009

Light Show

I am not, nor have I ever tried to be, a poet. I have never written poetry before. This started to come to me in the hospital, while I was still wondering about the efficacy of the transplant. I finally finished it and wrote it down a couple of weeks ago, and I just now got the nerve to post it for the world to see.

Light Show
Dark hospital bed,
alone, lying cold,
wondering if I
will ever grow old

enough to know why
this is happening
to me

Hard hospital bed,
awake, lying cold
no revealation;
then realization
that I will grow old

enough when I grow
into the warm, soft
Light of the One who
made me

Deacon John
Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross
2009

Free at last, Free at last

Saturday, after three very long weeks, I was finally released from the hospital. The autologous stem cell transplant was performed on Aug. 25. Despite some minor setbacks things generally went quite well. I feel good, and I fell even better now that I am out of the hospital. I saw the doctor again on Wednesday and was told that after some more blood tests next week I can go home to Louisville. My blood counts look good, and all further testing can be done at home. All I can say to that is Alleluia!!! God is good indeed. I know this journey is not over, in many ways it is just beginning. I am more convinced than ever that our gracious God is with me every step of the way.
Deacon John
Sept. 19, 2008
St. Peregrine, Pray for us

It's Time

As I write this I am back in Chicago. Tomorrow morning the hospital will call, telling me they are ready for me to come in and begin the chemo in preparation for the autologous stem cell transplant. This treatment is the best hope for putting this cancer into remission. It's been a long journey to this point, since being diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in Dec. I have to admit, even knowing that this is the best treatment available, and that I am receiving this treatment in one of the best places possible, it is still a frightening prospect. I am prepared, however, ready to do what is necessary to get this as behind me as possible. My trust is that God has led me to this point, and I keep my faith in God, believing that I am indeed in God's hands. This may be the last update for a while, I don't know how much access I will have to a computer after entering the hospital tomorrow, or if I will bewell enough to post anything. I will get back on here as soon as I can. Thank you for you prayers, know that you are in my prayers as well.
St. Peregrine, Pray for us.
Deacon John
Aug. 21, 2008

Down the Home Stretch

As Dorothy said in the Wizard of Oz, there's no place like home. Stem cells were harvested on Wed. Aug. 13th. Thankfully enough were collected that I don't have to go through that experience again. Since the transplant can't happen right away, we were told we could go home. It is good to be home even if it is only for a few days. This is a week of rest, to give my body a break before continuing with the transplant process. The schedule has been finalized. I will be admitted to the hospital on Friday Aug. 22. The super chemo will be administered on that day and Saturday the 23rd. Sunday, appropriately, will be a day of rest. The transplant, the re-infusion of the collected stem cells, will occur on Monday Aug. 25th. I know I will be in the hospital for at least 3 weeks. I do not know how much of that time will be in isolation. It is good just to know precisely what will happen next. My job this week is to prepare myself mentally and spiritually for the transplant and the recovery period to follow. This will be a week of prayer and contemplation, working to be prepared for what will be a difficult time. No matter the difficulty, this must happen if remission is to be achieved. So this week I pray, read, and get ready, reminding myself that even in these difficult times God is with me. We will leave to return to Chicago on Thursday the 21st.
St. Peregrine, Pray for Us
Deacon John
Saturday Aug 16, 2008

Getting Started

Today I received the first injections of neupogen, a drug designed to stimulate stem cell production. The only draw back to neupogen is that the main side affect is severe bone pain. So if we are going to see any of Chicago, I guess we shoud do it today or over the weekend, before the pain starts. I will receive this drug twice a day for 5 days. The pain should not begin, if it does, until late in the process. So I should be ok until Monday or Tuesday. On Wednesday the harvesting of the stem cells should begin. After a small fight with the insurance company about covering these injections, things were worked out so the transplant process would not be delayed. Thanks to God for answering our prayers that this insurance difficulty be resolved quickly. So, we are well on our way and will hopefully have the transplant as scheduled on Aug. 22. We are relying on God now to guide through this process. So far we have done well following God's lead. All we need now is the grace to continue to do so.
Deacon John
The Feast of St. Dominic
Aug. 8, 2008
St. Peregrine and St. Dominic,
Pray for us